Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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