5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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