oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
