i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
