I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
