I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
