Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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