i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
