What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize