i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize