moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
