just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
