But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Randomize
