I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
