I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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