singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
