Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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