Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
