You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
