the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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