TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
