Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
