i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
