You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
