Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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