Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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