Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
