i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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