You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
