doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
