Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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