Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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