Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
