New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i would punch a child for taco bell
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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