All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
