My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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