I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
