i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
