i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
