You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
