The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This is the prime rib incident all over again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
