we made out on top of his cat.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This is my gift to your gina
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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