god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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