remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize