I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
