She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
