WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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