and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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