So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
