even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
