the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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