stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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