Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
