I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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