Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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