He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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