i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He? As in you personified your dick?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
