Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Come see our sink grown plant.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
