they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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