Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
operation have a gay friend backfired
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
