yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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