Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
