what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
