But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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