hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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