Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize