ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
