Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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