The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
