im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
BRING THE BAGELS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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