What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
