toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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