It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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