i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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