"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
