party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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