I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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