Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I stole a fireplace last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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