he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So apparently I’m into choking now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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