I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
