Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
